The 73 Best Answers in 73 Questions

[knuckles rap]

[Kylie] Yeah, come on in.

[Joe] Hey, Stormi.

Hi.

Joe, how are ya?

Hey.

[Joe] Hey, Alicia.

Hey.

[Joe] Look who it is, Olivia Rodrigo.

Hey, how are ya?

Welcome.

[Joe] Let's do this. 73 questions.

Nicki Minaj. This is happening. Let's do this.

Come on in, Vogue.

[Joe] What's something you could share

about your co-stars, Tom Holland and Jake Gyllenhaal?

That when they're together, no one else exists.

[Joe] What's the craziest thing a fan has ever done?

Well, a fan has asked me to legitimately adopt them.

[Joe] What's your favorite curse word?

Favorite curse word. Fuck ass.

[Joe] What's the strangest thing

you've seen someone do at one of your shows?

A middle-aged woman, drink too much,

pass out, then herself while she got carried out.

Vegas, obviously.

[Joe] What's your guilty pleasure?

My, is smelling my [beep].

[Joe] Who would you say is the real life Gossip Girl?

Mark Zuckerberg.

[Joe] Can you show me a hidden talent?

No.

[Joe] How do you feel about jumping in this pool?

[Troye] There is absolutely no chance in hell.

I'm not even wearing my bathers.

[Jacob] Just do it.

[Troye] Shut up, babe.

[Joe] Troye, I'm gonna do this with you. Don't worry.

Okay, fine. I'm going in with my clothes on.

[Joe] All right, three, two, one.

[water splashes]

And that's going in the history books.

When did you first hear the sound

of your own voice on the radio?

When I was working at Red Lobster,

maybe,

I dunno, maybe 17 years ago.

[Joe] What's a phrase that you just say way too much?

Slay. It's a little cringe.

[Joe] And what was your go-to order at the bodega?

My go-to order at the bodega

was a ham and cheese on a roll

with an orange drink, if you know you know,

and a small bag of chips.

[Joe] What's the least true rumor about you?

They're all true.

[Joe] What's your favorite sport?

I don't really like sports, but I'll say hockey

'cause they're, you know, hot.

They look hot.

Girls, can we do the dance

'cause Vogue wanna see it.

You ready?

[Joe] That's right.

Yeah? All right.

Five, six, seven, eight.

You happy, Vogue?

[Joe] Who's the best dressed person that you know?

Stormi.

[speaking Spanish]

[Joe] Okay.

[speaking Spanish]

[lips quiver]

[speaking Spanish]

[Joe] What's the strangest thing you've done

to prepare for a role?

Wax my ass.

[Joe] What's the scariest villain of all time?

Donald Trump.

Hey, what would you say

is the greatest fashion trend of all time?

Hmm, I'll probably get a lot of flack for this,

but I'm gonna say clothes

and could you please take your feet off the couch?

[utensils and dishes clatter]

Don't think Lenny's not gonna hear about that.

[Joe] Do you ever go back and watch old episodes

of The Suite Life?

When I'm drunk or feeling really narcissistic, yeah.

[Joe] Now what's the rest of your day looking like?

I just have a couple Zoom meetings.

You know the ones where you like only get dressed

from here up.

[Joe] What would be your song to walk down the aisle to?

What aisle we talking about?

We talking about the aisle to get some chicken wings?

[both laugh]

You talking about the aisle down the private jet?

I like to walk down the private jet aisle.

[Lizzo laughs]

[Joe] Okay.

To Shake That Laffy Taffy by D4L.

[Joe] What good is an interview if I'm not gonna-

You wanna get down with me?

[Joe] If I'm not gonna do a duet with you?

Come on, let's get it.

[Joe] Okay, let's get it.

[piano and harmonica resound]

[Joe] Okay, what's the most outrageous thing

you've ever worn, Michael?

What you want?

What's the most outrageous thing I ever worn?

Oh, I know right away.

It's that orange plaid suit that you wore.

Yeah, I was trying to take a fashion risk.

[Joe] Who's one actress you're dying to meet?

Jennifer Lawrence because we both fell down the stairs.

[Joe] What's one skill you wish you had but you don't?

♪ I wish I could sing ♪

[Joe] Can you say anything in a foreign language?

[speaking Spanish]

[Joe] Do you have a hidden talent?

Yeah, I can make bird noises.

[Joe] Prove it.

[bird chirping resounds]

All right, what advice would you give

to anyone who wants to become a singer?

Get a good lawyer.

[Joe] Priyanka, I heard

that you perform your own stunts on set.

What's been your most dangerous accident?

I got electrocuted on set once, which was pretty crazy

and I cut myself today.

Sorry.

[Joe] Who would you love to do a love scene with?

The Rock. Finish what we started.

[Joe] Can you show me a magic trick?

Yes, okay, here we go. Ready?

[Joe] Uh huh.

Alakabooty.

[Joe] Whoa.

[wooden blocks clatter]

And what's your schedule like these days?

Do you really wanna know?

[Joe] This is gonna be scary.

Let's see.

[Joe] Okay.

Okay, Google, read me my last text.

[Google] Gigi, your schedule is pretty easy.

After your shoot, meet us at JFK

for Paris, London,

Berlin, Rome,

Saint-Tropez, the island nation of Nauru,

Antarctica and Des Moines, Iowa.

See you at the airport.

There you have it.

[Joe] Okay, wow.

Vine or YouTube?

Vine.

[Joe] Can you show me your best magic trick?

You want a magic, I mean.

[Joe] Lay it on me.

Ooh, the thumb.

[Joe] Oh, disappearing thumb thing.

Come on, that's not your best magic trick.

You don't like it? Well.

[Joe] Like it can't be your-

[flame whooshes]

Holy [beep].

Were you texting Justin when I arrived?

No, I was actually ordering Postmates.

[Joe] If you could bring back one look

from your 20s, what would it be?

None. Have you seen those Spice Girls films?

[Joe] What phrase defines how you live your life?

#IDGAF.

[Joe] All right, Iggy, follow me on this one.

Okay.

[Joe] If your stage name

was your favorite Disney character

plus the name of your elementary school you went to,

what would your stage name be?

My stage name would be Ariel Mullumbimby.

[Joe] What goes through your mind

as you're being photographed?

Be fierce, be fierce, be fierce, but don't be too fierce

'cause apparently it really freaks people out.

[Joe] NSYNC or One Direction?

Harry Styles.

[Joe] Can you show me something awesome

on this trampoline?

Sure.

[trampoline thuds]

[Joe] That was pretty impressive.

Thanks.

[Joe] Yeah.

And what's something interesting you're yet to try

that you'd love to master?

I've already tried, but I'd love

to master a headstand.

Let me show you.

[Joe] Okay. Eh, you're gonna need to practice.

Big question. Which belt?

It's a tough call.

They're both so different.

I'm sorry, who asked her?

[Joe] Can you say the most American thing

in an American accent?

Oh, uh,

hey y'all.

[Joe] Can you show me your best lightsaber move

with this lightsaber?

I have to save most of them for the film,

but just a little

flourish, just like that.

[Joe] Not bad.

What one celebrity is on the dream list

to stop the car for?

Beyonce.

[Joe] Which Italian word

do you wish English speakers would stop saying incorrectly?

Versace. It's Versace.

[Joe] True or false?

You preferred wearing boys uniforms

when you were in grade school.

True.

[Joe] Who's the cooler Dad?

[Both] I am.

[Joe] What's your favorite type of cuisine?

Lemme show you.

[Joe] Sure.

Boom. That is a lot of Skittles.

What are your favorite rap lyrics?

We want a lady in the street, but a freaking the bed.

[Joe] Can you yell the answer

to the next question outside of this window right here?

Yeah, absolutely.

[Joe] What's your favorite dessert?

I don't like dessert, okay?

[Joe] What was a book you read

because everyone else in the world was reading it?

50 Shades of Grey.

[Joe] Can you show me a little salsa move?

Oh me turn first. Now, you second. Now.

[Joe] Do you still say that you are an introvert?

Yes, which is why a one-take

73 Questions situation

is not necessarily in my comfort zone.

[Joe] What's your biggest pet's peeve?

Panty lines.

[Joe] Camilla, can you tell me something

about you that people do not know?

Ooh, I can tell you three things.

I dunno why I'm still speaking in a British accent.

[Joe] Okay.

Okay, okay.

I actually eat a banana with every single meal.

It doesn't matter what it is.

Doesn't matter if it's pasta,

a sandwich, rice and beans,

scrambled eggs, pancakes, pizza.

Eat bananas with everything.

I can only sleep with socks on

because I feel like the boogeyman

will lick my feet if not

and I had a tic in the third grade

where I couldn't stop flaring my nostrils

and that I have never confessed publicly before.

[Joe] Do your kids have any nicknames for you?

Not that we can say in front of her.

[Joe] Who's the player that you dread playing the most?

Rafael Nadal.

[Joe] Who would your three dream

dinner party attendees be?

Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama and Jesus.

[Joe] What's the Met Gala theme this year?

I think it's OshKosh B'Gosh, A Retrospective.

[Joe] Okay, show me a hidden talent.

You ready?

[Joe] Yes.

[groans resound]

And then.

[Joe] What?

Okay, that is weirding me out.

Creepy.

[Joe] Did you ever find Animal Chin?

No, why do you think I built this?

Why do you think I'm still out here doing it?

[Joe] And what's an article

of clothing you can't live without?

I'd say a full body Spank,

one that goes through my toes to my neck.

[Joe] How close are the girlfriends?

Oh, in real life?

We're-

♪ Girlfriends ♪

♪ There through thick and thin ♪

[Joe] How do you describe yourself?

I'm a 6'2 giraffe from the Lou.

[Joe] What's the most underrated band of the '90s?

Hmm.

Oasis.

[Joe] How do you suggest we drink this tea?

Well, I'll be mom, shall I?

[Joe] I have no idea what that means.

That means I'll pour.

[Joe] Okay.

Who's the epitome of class according to you?

Barack Obama.

Hey, Seth, can I get a raise?

No.

[Joe] And who is a historical person

that you would resurrect to enjoy a meal in that kitchen?

Oh, the perfect person for these days

is Alberta Camu who wrote The Plague.

[Joe] What did 6-year-old Greta

think she would be when she grew up?

A nun.

[Joe] What does it mean to be an American today?

Um, always having to say I am so sorry about that.

Oh, so sorry.

[Joe] What do you have to say to your internet trolls?

You guys seem to have

a lot of [beep] time on your hands.

Okay, let's call it a day.

[Joe] Bye-bye.

Bye.

Thank you for having me, you guys.

I love you so much. This is a dream come true.

[kisses blow]

Thanks for coming.

[Joe] Best of luck, JLo.

Thank you. Do you wanna have

a little more charcuterie with me?

[Joe] I'm all yours.

[Gwyneth] Fantastic.