Products are independently selected by our editors. We may earn an affiliate commission from links.
We think of the garter toss as a quintessential wedding tradition, right up there with cake-cutting and saying “I do.” Indeed, the prevailing wisdom is that the garter toss is a sacred ritual dating back to the medieval age. In truth, the garter toss is probably only about 75 years old.
“I haven’t found any evidence of a staged garter toss happening at a wedding before the mid-1950s,” says Kimberly Chrisman-Campbell, PhD, a fashion historian and author of the book The Way We Wed: A Global History of Wedding Fashion. “Many wedding ‘traditions’ are pretty recent, while a lot of the things we think of as being very modern—like the getaway dress or the bachelorette party—are actually centuries old.”
This is far from the first time a wedding tradition has been partially fabricated. White gowns became popular in the 1840s but were not worn by the masses until synthetic fabrics made them widely affordable a century later. Diamond engagement rings only became the norm in the mid-20th century, thanks mainly to a marketing campaign by British-owned diamond company De Beers, which coined the slogan “A Diamond is Forever”. The double ring ceremony was also not a given until the 1940s. It seems that weddings, as we know them today, are a fascinating mixture of old and new, ancient sacraments mingling with TikTok’s micro-trends.
For anyone who has planned a wedding (myself included), it can often feel like any break from tradition is a radical act, a slap in the face of our grandmothers, the church, and all the well-behaved brides that came before us. Hopefully, it frees future generations to know that many of these “traditions” are relatively new inventions that often materialized as a way to sell us something—whether that be a four-carat marquise diamond ring or a lacey little garter. So, without further ado, we present you with the real history of the garter toss.
What is a garter toss?
For the uninitiated, the custom goes a little something like this: The bride sits in a chair with the groom kneeling on the floor before her. He either ducks under her dress or hikes it up the hem to reveal the garter she’s wearing. Then, using either his hands or his teeth, the groom removes it and throws it into a crowd of single men. This description is the most basic one I can present (though of course, there are plenty of weddings that do not have both a bride and groom).
At most weddings, the garter toss is done during the reception around the same time as the bridal bouquet toss. As the ritual dictates, those who catch the garter or the bouquet will be the next to get married. Sometimes, the garter-catcher will find the bouquet-catcher and put the garter on their leg, and they will share a dance.
What is a garter made out of?
Most garters are made of lace, satin, silk, or tulle and held in place above the knee with elastic. They may have intricate embellishments that incorporate pearls, rosettes, rouches, sparkles, or a touch of blue.
Where did the garter toss tradition come from?
“It’s often described as a remnant of the medieval custom of the wedding party disrobing the bride and groom so the marriage could be consummated, back when both men and women wore garters to hold their stockings up,” says Chrisman-Campbell.
The most commonly reported tale traces garter tosses back to medieval times when it was considered good luck to snag a piece of the bride’s wedding dress. As a way to stop the masses from tearing their outfits apart, brides started tossing their garters into the crowd. However fun, the evidence for this particular origin story is virtually non-existent. “I think most medieval women would find the idea of wearing only one garter, one that served no practical function, a bit surprising,” says Rachael Lennon, author of Wedded Wife: A Feminist History of Marriage. The closest likeness to the garter toss can be observed in the old British game called “flinging the stocking,” which involves tossing hosiery at the newlyweds themselves in attempts to hit them on the nose.
Instead, Chrisman-Campbell posits, the garter toss likely comes from the world of burlesque, which went mainstream when silent film star Marlene Dietrich, singer Martha Tilton, and a slew of other entertainers tossed garters into raucous crows of soldiers at USO shows during World War II. The visual struck a chord with the general public, and the garter toss was born.
“I suspect it entered wedding culture from there—as a playful, celebrity-sanctioned, male version of the bouquet toss, a similar symbolic "deflowering,” says Chrisman-Campbell. “By the 1960’s, though, it was already being described as a ‘tradition’ in bridal magazines. By then, tights and pantyhose were coming on the market, and the garter was transitioning from a functional garment to a fashion or fetish item.”
The garter toss, then, is less an enduring relic of history and more a testament to the power of post-war marketing. The economic boom of the 1950’s had a profound effect on advertising and mass consumption, and when you throw in the fervent American quest to reclaim “tradition” after the war, it made for a lot of age-old “traditions” that were actually brand new. “Bridal stores certainly encouraged it, though, including garters as part of their wedding day packages, where they often doubled as a bride’s something blue,” says Chrisman-Campbell.
What does a garter symbolize?
The garter is said to signify the bride’s “deflowering.” In general, wedding fashion is rife with symbolism—a white wedding dress to symbolize purity, rings to symbolize eternal love, and carefully chosen wedding flowers to symbolize fertility, luck, and virginity.
While the evidence that garters were being tossed on the dance floor in medieval times is lacking, there is a grain of truth to the idea that a bride’s virginity (and subsequent deflowering) has been an important part of a wedding’s framework since the beginning of weddings.
Historically, couples were expected to consummate their marriage immediately. This act held not just personal significance but political weight. Sex between newlyweds, especially those of noble blood, served as a way to prove the bride’s virginity (very important), cement alliances, and ensure the marriage could not be annulled or challenged, since consummation was seen as the final step in making a marriage legally binding.
Is the garter toss outdated today?
Both the garter toss and bouquet toss do contain some rather dated assumptions. Beyond their rigid approach to gender, they can end up feeling like a sort of battle royale for single guests, with marriage treated as the ultimate prize. “I think the whole concept is pretty outdated on every level, including the implication that your guests are desperate to get married,” says Chrisman-Campbell. “Our society no longer places the same amount of value on marriage as the most significant accomplishment this life has to offer.”
However, as with all wedding decisions, the choice is totally personal. For anyone who loves all the classic wedding rituals, the garter toss can be a fun spectacle. For those who might feel a bit shy about having their new spouse dive under their dress in front of all their relatives, rest assured that the garter toss is definitely not essential. In fact, there are many, many cultures that do not incorporate a garter toss at all; It is mostly popular in the United States.
“Having largely lost their practical function, it’s the romanticized idea of a traditional garter toss that keeps sales alive,” says Lennon. “But the more you explore the realities of marriage for women in the past and question the expectations we have inherited, the less desirable that tradition for tradition's sake becomes. In the oppression of women, tradition has often been the last defense of the indefensible.”
Garter-toss alternatives
For anyone who is not into the idea of a classic garter toss, rest assured there are alternatives. After all, if we have learned anything, it is that we must make our own traditions!
Instead of putting your garter on public display for all your wedding guests to see, you can incorporate the garter as a private part of your wedding night lingerie. Take its burlesque origins and run with it!
Instead of breaking up the bouquet/garter toss by gender—an antiquated notion by today’s standards anyway—bring all the single guests onto the dance floor together to participate in the bride’s bouquet toss. (I did mine to Charli XCX’s “Girl, So Confusing”.)
Call all the kids onto the floor and toss a toy. Call animal lovers to the floor and toss a stuffed animal. Call forth anyone with a sweet tooth and toss candy. After all, wedding rituals are merely a template for you and your partner to express the things most dear to you and the life you are building together.