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Whenever friends ask me how long they should wait between their engagement and their wedding, I always say if they want to keep their sanity, it’s best to have a minimum of a year to plan. As someone who has written about weddings since 2015, I know all too well the length of time it takes to book a great venue, curate a vendor team, alter a dress, and prepare guests for travel. But much to my surprise, I found myself throwing out all my rules—and self-inducing a stress-related teeth-clenching problem—by planning and throwing my own wedding in just a month.
Of course, I didn’t originally intend to have a whirlwind wedding timeline. My fiancé Olivia and I first got engaged in June 2024 and have been (and still are) planning to host a large celebration in November 2025. But on November 6, the election results went differently than we hoped—and we decided that getting legally married before the new administration came into office might be a safer decision for us as a queer couple. While we briefly entertained the idea of a quick NYC courthouse marriage, we agreed that hosting a proper wedding with a few family members present would make this moment feel special rather than rushed.
Luckily, our parents thought it was a great idea, too. My parents, my brother, and his girlfriend were on standby to book flights out from California. Liv’s mom Kerri told her friend and boss Mark Jacobsen, and he sweetly let us know he was ordained and offered to officiate for us. After writing an article about my fears for the queer community after the election, many friends in the wedding community offered their support to Liv and me—including wedding photographer Corbin Gurkin, who kindly offered to shoot for us once we decided on a time and place.
With our family, photographer, and officiant on board, it was time to get planning. While Liv was involved in all the decision-making, she allowed me to take the reins. We wanted the wedding to feel authentic to both of us, yet as someone whose day-to-day life is centered around weddings anyway and doesn’t have a traditional nine-to-five, it made sense for me to handle logistics. With such a short timeline, I would likely need to dedicate a good amount of time to research and running around for last-minute errands. Liv and I had always loved the idea of a chic city dinner party wedding with wine and bowls of pasta flowing, so we thought about looking into private spaces at restaurants for 15.
Soon, I was on a daily deep dive into every private dining room available in Manhattan. Finding a venue was my biggest worry, as I already knew that booking our larger wedding venue took months of research, recommendations, site visits, and spreadsheets. Making a reservation for a large birthday party in Manhattan a month out is already stressful—finding one for a wedding is even harder. It was tricky to find a balance of a space that would fit our party size and budget, allow room for a small ceremony, and have a built-in charm that wouldn’t require additional decorative touches. I decided that looking into a location on a weekday for lunch would be able to open up way more options at a better price—plus it would allow older members of our family to join in the festivities.
Then, I came across Upland, a great brasserie restaurant in the NoMad neighborhood with both Italian and California influences I had visited once before. Down the stairs from the main dining room, the location had a beautiful private space complete with deep emerald tiles, a curved wood ceiling with globe lighting, and even a bar. I reached out and learned we could have a three-course family-style lunch complete with personalized menus and dedicated staff. We consulted with our parents and decided to book a date for December 27, allowing us to have a holiday feel to our celebration.
While I was perfectly happy to keep the decor minimal, floral designer Kim Delgado of Mary Stuart Flowers reached out to me the very same day I booked Upland. She read my article about our change in wedding plans and wanted to see if we had flowers arranged for our celebration. I told her about our venue and aesthetic, and she quickly whipped up a design pitch for us including personal bouquets, small florals, and soft tulle runners for the table—and even boutonnières for our male guests. We decided to use a mix of white and neutral florals with textural details and wild greenery to bring a softness to the wintry display. (Top tip: Keeping florals small and seasonal is particularly helpful when working on a short timeline.)
Naturally, even before beginning research on our wedding location, I was already thinking about what we would wear. On November 7, I texted my friend, bridal stylist Gabrielle Hurwitz, to let her know about our plans, she quickly began shooting over the most amazing ideas of looks and designers that could be a fit for the both of us. Since most designer wedding dresses require a six-month lead time, she noted that buying something off the rack is almost always the best solution for a short timeframe.
Hurwitz also suggested checking out the NYC-based bridal brand Lein, so I DMed designer Meredith Stoecklein to see if she might be able to do a rush order—and she quickly made me an appointment to visit her studio the following week. Meredith said her dream was to dress both members of a queer couple for their bridal looks so she said she would give us samples or create something on a quick timeline. Trying on dresses was like therapy for the both of us. As a fellow queer woman, Meredith and I talked about both the joy of our relationships and our fears for the future. Liv and I weren’t the only couple she knew getting married in advance of the next administration and it was helpful to talk through what life could be like the next four years. (Plus, of course, we got extremely excited over envisioning Liv and my upcoming nuptials.)
While I loved so many of her pieces, I saved my favorite to try on last: a knee-length cream dress in silk shantung with padded shoulders and a dipped sweetheart neckline. The style felt like a vintage find from the 1940s, but with modern construction. The moment Meredith zipped me up, both our eyes widened and we immediately knew: This was it. Once we had a winner, Meredith took my measurements to make a new sample in my size, which meant I would need to clear time in my calendar to attend multiple fittings. Instead of keeping our looks a secret, Liv and I made a trip to Lein’s studio together shortly after, where she decided on a low-back, midi shift dress made with goose feathers from the same fall collection that was luckily a perfect fit and didn't need alterations. Liv also became obsessed with Bottega Veneta mules Meredith had for brides to use as try-on heels, and with no time for a fashion goose-chase to find the out-of-production style, I found a dupe on Anthropologie by Simon Miller that could show up in just a few days.
Since it would be quite chilly on our December wedding day, we knew that wearing our dresses alone wouldn’t do. Liv and I found a white Sandro coat on sale while window shopping in Chelsea, and I discovered a long coat with gold buttons by Nana Jacqueline, which we wore with beautiful ivory clutches from Bella Rosa. We also rented jewelry from Verstolo to cut down on costs of our accessories. Of course, shipping over the holidays on a short timeline isn’t always a safe bet. I had to have an additional coat sent my way the week before after the first size didn't fit, and the bags almost didn’t arrive out of Italian customs in time for the wedding. Luckily, the mail gods were on our side and I didn’t have to put the contingency plans I was beginning to craft in place. The day I picked up our dresses from Lein, I also went to Tanner Fletcher, another queer-owned bridal and fashion brand, to pick up an adorable veil for myself with a cream bow and shoulder-length tulle evocative of Audrey Hepburn’s wedding look in Funny Face. While rain was on the forecast, I ran through the subway and city streets as a light morning snow dusted (yet thankfully didn’t ruin) the garment bags.
While all the pieces were coming together—including taking a slightly teary-eyed trip to city hall to procure our marriage licenses—Liv and I realized that we needed to select wedding bands. We always thought of this as a “later” project on our wedding planning agenda for our 2025 celebration—but if we were going to have a proper ceremony, we realized we should be exchanging rings. I reached out to gemologist Olivia Landau, founder of the DTC natural diamond company The Clear Cut, and made an appointment. It was surprisingly fun putting on band and after band to find the perfect match to complement our engagement rings. I ultimately chose a thin pavé ring that mirrored the band of my marquise engagement ring with the idea that I could stack it with another after our large wedding in November. Since Liv has an emerald cut diamond with a simple platinum band, she decided on a style with east-west baguette diamonds to add extra shine to her stack. Olivia was able to make sure our rings would arrive in time with our wedding date inscribed inside.
The final task on our wedding planning checklist? Beauty prep. While I had already been brainstorming a yearlong pre-wedding beauty timeline with facialist Elizabeth Grace Hand of Stalle Studios, we would need to put the plan in hyperdrive. Since we didn’t want to risk any harsh treatments—who wants a post-chemical peel tomato-red complexion on their wedding day?—we simply doubled down on our skincare routine and committed to the difficult challenge of not falling asleep in our makeup after holiday parties. For an extra boost, I did an oxygen facial just a week out for a little more glow, and Liv made a few sauna visits. Getting a fresh chop with my stylist Amy Bradbury at Kennaland was also helpful in removing damage and getting my hair the length of the beauty inspo pic I sourced on IG. (Margot Robbie with Veronica Lake-worthy waves, in case you were wondering.)
The morning of the wedding, we woke up early in our apartment—after sleeping through one alarm due to our cat doubling as a weighted blanket on top of us—and had a mad dash to shower before our beauty team arrived. (Clearly, pulling things together in the nick of time is our specialty.) We were filled with adrenaline as Liv welcomed the wonderful hair and makeup duo of Kate Hargraves and Dana Bosco from the Bridal by Alexandria team at our front door. (I had to shout a “hello” from the shower.)
For our beauty, I decided to go for a soft Hollywood wave and fresh-faced makeup look à la Sofia Richie, while Liv went with a soft smokey eye and wore her hair up to highlight her earrings. Even though we didn’t have a photographer present (or the space in our Brooklyn one-bedroom apartment) to do a first look, we were happy to have that extra time together. Being present (albeit with mimosas in hand) helped us shake our pre-wedding jitters as we chatted with our stylists and checked in with our families about logistics. We got dressed in our ensembles, packed up our marriage license and the vows we hand-wrote the evening prior, then hopped in a Lyft together to Upland.
When we arrived at the restaurant, Kim handed us our beautiful bouquets and Corbin took us over to Madison Square Park for photos. Walking through the snowy park wearing a veil was an experience I’ll never forget. As a queer couple, you can’t always predict the reaction after someone does a double-take, but we were surprised and filled with joy from the words of congratulations from the strangers that passed us by. (Some people even filmed us—but don’t worry, they were smiling tourists.) After Corbin expertly stage-directed us through a shoot, we headed to the private room of the restaurant to get the party started.
There was no greater feeling than walking into the room with everyone there. As I hugged my parents and began tearing up, it all began to hit me. The space was perfect—from the beautiful florals to the warmth of our soon-to-be merged families (as well as Mark and his partner Tom) mingling over cocktails. After about 20 minutes, we decided it was time to tie the knot. We stood at one side of the room with Mark as he gave a beautiful, funny speech about how special it is to find love—no matter your gender—and the importance of work to keep your relationship strong over the years.
Then, it was time to recite our vows. Liv spoke first, thanking our families for making the trip to celebrate with us and speaking about how special she felt our connection was from our very first date. I began uncontrollably crying as I read my vows that touched on a similar theme of how we felt right from the start. I finished with the line: “You have taught me that love is a puzzle with many different parts—passion, friendship, loyalty, compromise, compassion, and kindness—and I vow to keep that puzzle intact no matter how many new pieces get thrown our way.” We exchanged our rings and Mark pronounced us “sweethearts for life.”
Lunch followed and it just felt like the happiest, most delicious holiday meal. It was so exciting simply to have so many people we cared about in one place for us—especially over the holidays, and with such a short planning timeline. While our parents had met each other before, there were plenty of new introductions to be made among the in-laws, with people moving seats between courses to chat and the room booming with conversation. Plans were discussed for future shopping excursions, golf games, journeys across the coasts—and, of course, our large wedding celebration with more family and friends the next year. I had my wife by my side and I could see our new, big family forming into one as we lingered for hours until we finally had to say our goodbyes.
As a final fun moment of our NYC wedding, Liv and I (still in our wedding dresses and veil) went with my family in town to Bemelmans Bar for an evening of strangers bringing us Champagne and toasting our marriage. Sure, it might have only been planned in a month—but that sense of spontaneity made it the happiest day of our lives.
