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If you’re recently engaged and are already thinking about the legal elements of getting married, you might be wondering exactly how to—or whether you should—get a prenup. While preparing for divorce isn’t exactly the most romantic thing in the world, a prenuptial agreement is a legal contract that can protect you and your spouse-to-be in the event that your marriage doesn’t work out. With the current divorce rate sitting around 50%, there’s been a marked rise in millennial and Gen-Z couples signing prenups in recent years.
“A prenup should be part of any wedding checklist, right up there with the cake and the photographer. The consequences of not having one can be much longer-lasting than anything else about your marriage,” says Libby Leffler, founder and CEO of the online prenuptial company First. “At its core, a prenup encourages honesty, transparency, and open dialogue. Most importantly, a prenup can also help ensure that debts remain personal, safeguard family heirlooms, or provide for a secure financial future.”
Divorce and family law attorney Laura Wasser—known for her high-profile clientele like Angelina Jolie and Kim Kardashian—says she refers to a prenup as a marital planning tool. “I always say they should be called that because they’re about so much more than dividing assets in the event of a divorce—they’re about planning your life together,” Wasser explains. “The prenup process opens the door to important conversations: Would you be comfortable caring for your partner’s elderly parents someday? Would one of you step back from work to stay home with the kids? What age do you see yourselves retiring? These are the kinds of things couples should be talking about anyway, and a prenup gives you the framework to do that. It’s about aligning your goals and building a roadmap for your marriage—not just preparing for what happens if things go south.”
Ahead, learn the ins and outs of prenups—including why they can actually help your marriage in the long run.
What Is a Prenup?
In short: A prenuptial agreement is a legal contract entered into by two people before they get married. It outlines the rights and responsibilities of each party when it comes to assets, debts, and other financial matters during your marriage and in the event of divorce. “You already have a prenup, whether you realize it or not,” notes Wasser. “That’s right—the laws in your state act as a default prenup. If you don’t create your own agreement, the state has a plan for dividing your property and handling other financial matters in the event of a divorce. This is why it is so important to understand your state’s laws before getting married—and if you don’t like them, consider a prenup.”
It’s helpful for couples to understand that you don’t have to have millions to require getting a prenup. “A prenup is not about money—it is about everything important to you: your vinyl record collection, your grandmother’s heirloom jewelry, the courtside season tickets, or your dog,” says Leffler. “A prenup does not just protect the things you have today; it protects ‘future you,’ too.”
“When it comes to divorce, a prenup can simplify and expedite the process, keeping costs down because the big decisions—like how property is divided or whether spousal support is in play—have already been agreed upon,” explains Wasser. “With a prenup, there is so much less to fight over, which means less stress, lower legal fees, and, hopefully, a fresh start to your next chapter.” She adds, “Most states will not honor provisions regarding child custody or support in a prenup. Those issues will need to be resolved at the time of separation.”
It’s important to note that a prenup isn’t always set in stone during a divorce. “It is possible for a prenuptial agreement to be challenged and even invalidated in court after a divorce trial,” says Wasser. “Courts generally uphold prenups because they allow couples to take proactive control of their financial futures, but this often depends on the state and specific circumstances. A prenup might be thrown out if it’s proven to be unconscionable (incredibly one-sided) or if one party was coerced, pressured, or didn’t have adequate time to review the agreement before signing.”
It is also possible to get a postnuptial agreement or a postnup—a contract that is fairly similar to a prenup, but that can be formed after marriage. “Postnups are becoming increasingly popular, but they are not enforced in all states,” notes Wasser. “In the states that do enforce postnups, they can be a helpful tool for couples who didn’t create a prenup before marriage, or for those whose circumstances have changed, such as starting a business, receiving a significant inheritance, or addressing financial concerns that arose during the marriage.”
Why Prenups Can Be Helpful to Your Marriage
Before becoming a team of two as a married couple, it’s important to get on the same page about everything. Formulating a prenup can be a helpful place to start—even if means preparing for a possible split. “Prenups are incredibly valuable for both partners because they open the door to honest, meaningful conversations about finances and future plans—conversations that are essential to building a strong, healthy marriage,” shares Wasser. “These conversations should include financial topics like assets, debts, income, and future financial planning, but they can also extend to other important areas. For example, couples might discuss family planning, embryo disposition, retirement goals, and even responsibilities like if they are going to have kids or caring for family members.”
“By addressing topics from how to handle assets to whether or not you are comfortable with your mother-in-law moving in, couples not only set clear boundaries but also gain a deeper understanding of each other’s values and goals. This kind of transparency builds trust and strengthens the relationship,” she continues. “In my practice, I am happy to report that a low percentage of the couples for whom we draft prenups, come back for divorces. If they do, the process is simpler and less costly.”
How to Get a Prenup
While you should begin the prenup process with conversations as a couple, the actual legal part of getting a prenup will take some time and effort. “Traditionally, creating a prenuptial agreement involves working with attorneys to draft and negotiate the terms,” explains Wasser. “Each state has different requirements to create a prenup, but generally, each party typically hires their own lawyer to ensure their individual interests are fully represented. The process includes full financial disclosure, where both partners share their assets, debts, inheritances, and income. The attorneys then work together to draft a custom agreement that addresses how finances will be handled during the marriage and in the event of a divorce or death.”
You should also be aware of your wedding timeline when drafting your prenup. “Ideally, a prenup should be finalized well in advance of the wedding—I would say that at least 30 days before the marriage is the ‘safe zone,’” says Wasser. “This allows both parties ample time to review the agreement and understand the terms. In states like California where I practice, we have certain statutory regulations around timing which, if not adhered to, could make the agreement invalid or unenforceable.”
Finally, it’s important to note that this legal protection doesn’t come without a cost. “Prenups can be pricey,” says Leffler. “In some cases, an eye-watering $10,000 or more per partner.” Yet while you can work with your own lawyers or even bring in a mediator for your prenup process, there are more options available today with new online platforms like Leffler’s California prenup company First that can cut down substantially on costs. “I love HelloPrenup,” adds Wasser. “It makes creating a tailored, state-specific prenup easy and affordable for everyone.”
